Misconception
by meteor9
Summary: Clive means well. It's just his nature. However, his recent advice to Jet might be doing some irreversable damage to the boy.
1. Birth of a Neurotic Condition

**Misconception**

A/N    A double meaning?  Clive has the best of intentions, but he may have caused irreparable damage to Jet's psyche!  And Virginia seems quite amused by the whole thing!  Watch as I turn Jet into a nervous wreck!

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_Two years after the dream demon….___

"Are you sure?"  Jet whispered to Clive, with a worried look in his eyes.

Clive remained in thought for a moment, and then responded, "I believe so.  Catherine went through the same things."  

The Rolling Stone saloon at Little Rock was oddly quiet today, which was just making the whole situation worse for Jet.  He and Clive started whispering to each other again, with Jet growing more and more nervous, until Virginia came down from the rooms upstairs.  Jet immediately shot into his normal impatient, "where's the gella?" position, and Clive pulled out his notebook and started taking notes on something.

Virginia noticed the rapid change, but decided not to say anything this time.  She merely walked past the two, right out the door.   Jet eyed her from his seat, until he was sure she was gone.  At once, he started whispering to Clive again.

"I don't think I'm ready for this…"

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A/N:  I know what you're all thinking.  "Matt…WTF is with this tiny little thing?"

Well, to answer your question….I don't know.  There was more to this, but it disappeared!  So, the next chapter will be longer.  Similar to how Hawk's Perch 1 was tiny compared to Hawk's Perch 2.  

Seriously!


	2. Commence the Snoopin!

**Misconception**

**Part 2**

A/N:  Even more nutty goodness….

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"Gallows, don't you have somewhere to go?"  asked an impatient Jet, glaring at him all the while.  

The Baskar looked at him strangely, then to Clive, who immediately started waving his hands in front of him, as if to say 'Don't look at me!'.  So, he went back to Jet.  "What the hell are you talking about?  I'm sleeping in today!"  Case in point, he was still in bed.  

Angrily, Jet walked over to the nightstand, and picked up the Modified Coyote M17F that occupied it.  "You have to go to the ARMsmith's today, remember?"

Gallows, getting irritated, covered his head with his pillow.  And he remained that way until he heard a loud BANG!  Jumping out of bed, he saw his beloved shotgun bent under the weight of the hammer that Jet was holding.   

Jet calmly stated "Now you have to go to the ARMsmith, got it?"

Needing no more coercion, the big man gathered the parts of his gun and  ran out of the room.  Today they had reserved a room in Claiborne.  Jet had no intention of staying the night, claiming that their target isn't far from here, but Virginia said she was tired, so of course no one else argued with her.  Jet would have, but he realized it would've been a waste of breath.

With Gallows removed, the two men went to work.  Deftly the young treasure hunter maneuvered to the gang's luggage, looking for a suede suitcase with brown straps, while Clive approached the group's dresser.

Popping all the locks and latches, using skills he picked up over the years as a "treasure hunter" (A/N:  As in, "Thief"), Jet carefully opened the suitcase, hoping and praying that any unmentionables were buried deep and out of sight.  _I'm not the perv on this team, you know_, he thought to himself, for some reason.  Sorting through all the various clothing items and papers and trinkets and such, he looked as if he was having no luck.

At the dresser, Clive was opening a drawer he never thought he'd have to open.  Rummaging through its contents, he stumbled across something odd.  Well, for a team of drifters, anyway.  Lifting up the item, he called over to Jet.  "What do you make of these?" he asked, displaying the crocheting needles he had found.

Jet, a bit nervous, replied, "Must have something to do with these…"  He held up a pair of little pink booties.  

Clive grinned happily, and Jet passed out.

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_I hope the boys like carrot stew,_ thought the team leader as she walked back to the inn from the market.  Normally, whenever they ate anything besides some form of beef, she'd have to listen to Jet complain for hours about it, but recently…   _Usually when it's my turn to cook, we never have meat, and I've cooked a lot recently…so why hasn't Jet said anything?_  A bit puzzled by her own query, she stopped for a bit.  Realizing that it probably is for the best, she reapplied her happy demeanor and kept on walking.

What she didn't expect, of course, was to see a ladder up against the window of their room.  From her angle, she couldn't tell who was on it, though.  She quickened her pace a bit, hoping to catch whomever it was.

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A loud bang on the window brought Jet back to consciousness.   Glancing towards it, he could see Gallows big mug looking back at him.  Quickly the boy looked around, hoping that Clive had cleaned up at some point, and to his relief, everything was in order.  So, as nonchalantly as possible, he walked over to the window, and opened it.  With a light nudge, Gallows disappeared from view.  All was good until he heard a woman scream down below.

He stuck his head out the window to get good look at the situation, and found a priceless scenario.  Virginia was clubbing the big man with a sack of potatoes, screaming "Hentai!" and "Pervert" and other such things.

By the end of the night, however, Gallows had convinced the party leader that he wasn't doing anything lecherous, and the team sat down for carrot stew.   Looking at his bowl, Jet's eye twitced.

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A/N  Do yourselves a favor.   If you are writing something humorous, don't listen to One-Winged Angel the whole time. 

meteor9's Stunt Double:  It clashes with the funny vibe, ya know?

Oh, and don't switch to The Birth of God right after, either, no matter how similar to SOM2 it sounds… wait, that had nothing to do with…. oh never mind…

meteor9's Stunt Double:  I don't get it, ya know?

Locke:  Treasure Hunter, god damnit!

Thief…

Locke:  TREASURE HUNTER!!!

I.e. 'Thief'

Locke:  Stabs meteor9


	3. Brain, Brain, Go Away

**_Misconception_**

**_Chapter 3_**

**A/N:**  It's been a long time…

**Trina:  **What?

**A/N:**  It's kind of an odd coincidence….  I needed Skylark's help on this fic so soon after I helped with her story "Expecting the Worst."  Which, by the way, you should go read.  And review.

**Trina:** …

**A/N:  **So, to sum up the ol' Author's Note for today, **a big thank you to Skylark Starflower!!**  Thanks!!

And now, yet another story featuring Boot Hill.  ^_^

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            Something was brewing at the Maxwell house.  Something that was festering, growing, and overcoming the mind of a certain young treasure hunter.  The gang had decided to take a week off from drifting, and returned to their respective, neglected families.  Jet obviously was unable to do so, and so his comrade-in-arms Virginia had invited him to stay at her family's extensively large home in Boot Hill.  Most homes in the world of Filgaia were nothing more than one or two room shacks, and here stood a full size building, with two bedrooms, a balcony, kitchen and dining room, and a basement that was blocked off by barrels and crates.  It was a rather easy decision for Jet to make, really.

            "Stay alone and outside all week:  Cold, dirty, lack of annoying teammates.  Stay with Virginia's aunt and uncle:  Warm, constant meals, running water, that unending uncertainty and mind-bending anxiety that I'm still feeling."

            Okay, so maybe it wasn't too easy.  Nevertheless, he chose the Maxwell house.  Besides, if his fears were confirmed, then he'd have to be a man about it and stick around anyway.  His pride was at stake, you know.

            Now, without the other men in the group, there was less of a chance of Jet's anxieties to act up.  However, before the group separated, Jet and Clive had a really long, in-depth conversation.  Now the boy was more nervous than ever before.

            As he sat in the guest room, a voice broke his concentration on his disarrayed thoughts.  "Jet, me and Auntie Shalte are going shopping!  You want anything?"

            _Okay, there's no evidence in that, right?  Right?!_  He reflected for a moment before shouting back that he was all set, and that he didn't need anything.  Or basically, "No."

            There was a brief silence, and then he heard the front door open and close.  He stood up and stared off for a while, and then plopped himself down on his bed and examined the ceiling.

            _There's no evidence…even though there are so many possibilities…   What is she shopping for?  Is she going to the pharmacy?  Is the looking for a TEST!?  No…_

_            Maybe she's just buying new clothes…wait, she's not anticipating growing out of her regular wardrobe, is she?!_

_            No…  She'll probably just be looking for a new outfit to replace that dirty and torn one she always wears._

_            Then again…no…she would just knit those kinds of clothes anyway….!!!_

            Jet was surprised to find himself pacing around the room, and he quickly sat down in a nearby chair.  "Just calm down, man….just calm down…"

            He sat still for a minute, and then his fingers started to drum on his knee.  Then his leg started moving.  His eyes wandered the room.    This continued for a few moments until he caught himself and remained still once again.

            "I gotta get my mind off of this…"  He got out of the chair and meandered over to the bookshelf.  Picking up the first book he could find, he dusted off the cover and read the title.

            _Virginia Maxwell's Baby Book_

            Almost immediately he dropped the book and jumped backwards, banging his head against something.  He turned to find a mobile spinning around from the impact.  And he let loose a rather embarrassing scream of terror.

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            About an hour later, Jet awoke to sounds of footsteps on the first floor.  He picked himself up off the ground and went downstairs, hoping to clear his mind of the fretfulness.

            _Oh, they just went grocery shopping._  He heaved a mental sigh of relief, and approached the kitchen table.  As his hosts unloaded the bags, he took a gander inside one of them.

            _Chocolate-covered strawberries, pickles, ice cream..._

_._

            He grabbed one of the pickles and stared at it something fierce.  Virginia noticed this, but just assumed that the vegetable was some sort of metaphor for life or memories or something, and resumed putting the groceries away.

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**A/N:  **Well, it's short, but it's there.  Maybe another chapter or two out of this, and this will be my first finished multi-chapter fic.  Scary, eh?  Anywho, I got the chocolate covered strawberries thing from another fic I read, only they were cherries in that one, and it's an Inuyasha story anyway.  Go read it, it's Maiden of the Moon's _Early December._  Yeah.  ^_^

**CRRS:**

**Teefa85:**  Well, it doesn't matter if you spoil it or not.  I think everyone knows by now anyway.  ^_^  I just don't mention it in the fic because I want the ending to work out in a certain way.

**Black Waltz 0:**  Yes, Jet torture is fun…  ^_^  And beating the crap out of Gallows is entertaining as well.  And the inclusion of Fujin in the review is always a plus!

**Skylark Starflower:**  Thank you!  Thank you!  If you missed the A/N up top, let me reiterate:  THANK YOU!!  ^_^   Anywho, I'm not quite sure I understood what you were saying about a double standard…

**Hypes**:  You have a sick mind.  And that's awesome.  Normal people are boring, anyway!  ^_^  Anyway, that idea you had though…that'd be a great story.  Think of the heartache!  The yelling!  The Oscar noms!  Plus, Kate Winslett would be in it!  (Yes, yes….Kate Winslett…Kaitlyn Winslett….I'm so dense!  ^_^)

**JayJay-Sawada:  **And once again, my extreme laziness and procrastination attacks.  Sorry this took so long!  ^_^

**aya-yahiko****:**  Well, whatever they're up to, the real question is;  Is Jet right?  Or is he just confused?  Only time will tell!  Mwa ha ha ha!!  ^_^

That's all for now!  See you space cowboy!

*cue Yoko Kanno music*


	4. That Uneasy Queasy Feelin'

**_Chapter 4_**

**_That Uneasy Queasy Feelin'_**

**A/N:**  Heh…I like this chapter title…

**Trina:**  Why do you drag me into these intros….just get to the damn story….  *Shoots him*

**A/N:  **Yes ma'am!  *Dies*

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"Guys…"

Apparently the rest of the team didn't hear her, and they kept riding forward.

"Guys….we gotta stop…."

Jet, who had been in the lead to distance himself from the group, halted his steed and raised his hand to stop the other men.  He slipped out of the saddle and passed Clive and Gallows as they brought their horses to a standstill.    

As he approached the girl at the back of the group, he called out, "You okay?"

All morning she had seemed a bit woozy, and a little bit less enthusiastic than normal, but she never appeared to be sick.  Now, however, the treasure hunter could have sworn Virginia looked a shade of green.  In an answer to his question, she jumped off her horse and stumble around to the back of a boulder.   

He started after her.  "Virginia?"  But when he reached the boulder, he could clearly tell by the noise that the team leader had just lost her lunch (so to speak, as it was still morning).

Cautiously, he peeked around the stone and caught a glimpse of his exhausted leader, breathing haggardly and looking very much like someone who had just emptied the contents of her stomach.   

"Um…do you need any help?"  When Jet said this, Virginia turned and gave him a confused look.  "What?"

"Jet…that is so unlike you…urp!"  She spun back around and resumed vomiting.  

Jet stood there for a moment, confused by her reaction, but then realized what was going on, or rather, the mess on the ground, and quickly turned away.

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"Morning sickness." he stated rather calmly.  "With Catherine, however, it was actually messier…"  And with that, a confused and slightly fearful look entered the man's eyes.

Jet stared at Clive with an equal amount of confusion at first, but then realized what the older man was saying.  "You mean you think that was…erm…that Virginia is having morning sickness?"

Clive mused over this for a second, then responded with a smile "Well, it is still morning, isn't it?"

The boy rolled his eyes and sighed.  _He's not helping…  _He let his horse fall back until he was parallel with Virginia and her ivory mount.  "Hey, you feeling any better?"

Virginia, who was no longer shocked at Jet's odd behavior, nodded and smiled in response.  "Just a bit queasy still, but other than that, I'm fine."

Jet gave what appeared to be a sigh of relief.  "That's good…"

Now she was curious again.  "Jet, what's going on?  You're acting…rather strangely.  You're not at all like your usual self."

"Really?  What's my 'usual self?'" he asked.

"I believe Gallows said it best when he called you a 'sulky punk.'"  She couldn't help but giggle right there.

"Meh…whatever…" he replied, and rode off to the side, his usual position in the riding formation.  To his surprise, so did Virginia.

"Hey, I'm sorry, Jet.  I didn't mean to insult you."

"You didn't, so don't worry about it."

"Jet…   Look, I know you're trying to change, and I shouldn't act so surprised when you make progress like that…"

"…you think I'm making progress?"  He seemed a bit happier now.

"Definitely!  Back when I first met you, we never could have talked like this, and you wouldn't have come to check up on me if I got sick, or anything like that.  Now look at you.  You've grown a lot."

Not sure how to react, Jet turned a bit red and muttered, "Thanks…"

For a moment, they rode in silence.  Suddenly, Virginia shakily stood up on her horse, and jumped at Jet.  He barely caught her, and out of confusion yelled  "What the hell are you doing?!"

She giggled at him.  "But don't grow up too much, or else life would be too boring!"   As she sat down in front of Jet, she took a length of rope hanging from the side of Jet's horse and attached it to her own steed.  

From up ahead, Gallows and Clive watched the couple.  "Aw, how cute," said Gallows, who was still bitter about the ladder incident.   Clive, on the other hand, just smiled at the two and faced forward again.

Jet, meanwhile, slipped into one of his thinking moods.  _Morning sickness…_

_As long as it's __Virginia__ that I'm doing this with, then it's alright, I guess…_

With that, he gave the reins a quick whip and caught up with the rest of the team.

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**A/N:**  Aw….how kawaii…

**Trina:**  You fluff-driven idiot, you….    Where's the comedy?  This is supposed to be _funny._  

**A/N:  **Funny, huh?  Fine.  *Points at Trina*  Look at the blue hair!  Ha!!  BLUE HAIR!!

**Trina:**  You must enjoy being shot…  *Shoots him again and again and again*

**CRRS:**

**Teefa85:  **There are worse hentais out there, unfortunately…   ^_^

**Hana**** no Kaze:  **I don't know why I didn't torture him this time…  I beg for forgiveness!!

**Black Waltz 0:  **Well, I still can't reveal whether or not it's true…  But I'm not done torturing the kid, so no worrying about that!  ^_^

**Skylark Starflower:  **Ah, now I get it.  Dessiney's room…  I'm gonna have to go check that out…once I get a PS2…  (Trina:  I've made up for it, dear!  Shot him up really good this time!)

**Hypes:  **I never knew psychological torture would be so much fun to write!  Gwah hah hah hah!

**JayJay****-Sawada:  **Thanks!  And look!  I updated again!  Although, it's funny to think about, but the I posted the last chapter in winter, and now it's spring.  So, it only sounds like it's been a long time!   ^_^

**aya-yahiko****:   **I sorta toned down the humor this time….so maybe you can breath now?  Ah, good.  ^_^


	5. The Things You Can Do With Fruit

**Misconception**

**Chapter 5**

Humphrey's Peak was a quiet town with about as many citizens as you could count on one hand.   Just like every town, actually.  In fact, it's amazing how the few dozen or so humans on Filgaia have been able to fight off the endless hordes of gobs, slugs, balloons, chimeras, kobolds, lizards, bizarre looking apes, skeletons, slimes, angry birds, orcs, monster trees, pill bugs, mandragoras, wild dogs, etc…

            This, however, has no bearing on the story whatsoever.  

            In a small, two-room house with a blue roof sat the so-called "Maxwell gang," calmly dining on a veritable banquet, well, at least when compared to the amount of attendees.   The head count was as follows, in order of age:  Clive Winslett, Catherine Winslett, Gallows Caradine, Virginia Maxwell, Jet Enduro, and Kaitlyn Winslett.

            The meal consisted of roasted turkey, a meatloaf, mashed sweet potatoes, corn-on-the-cob, cranberry sauce, a large bowl of salad, biscuits, and some apple pie for dessert.  Perhaps this may not seem like a lot, but on Filgaia it is, okay?  Catherine and Kaitlyn had spent all morning putting the meal together, in order to celebrate the team's recent success, silencing a ravenous bi-pedal beast in the area of Gemstone Cavern.  It would have been less work had Clive been allowed to help like he wanted to, but for some reason, his wife and daughter wouldn't let him near the kitchen.

            "…and man, you shoulda seen the look on its face when I roared back at it!"

            Virginia replied back to Gallows' boasting with "Yeah, it was almost as funny as the look on _your_ face when it bit your behind!"

            As can be expected, everyone shared a laugh at Gallows expense.  Everyone, that is, except Jet.  Because he was one-hundred-percent sure that his suspicions were correct, his nerves were getting frayed every time Virginia was in a battle, so much that even the mere mention of a fight would put him on edge.  However, mo matter how much he wanted to scream and keep her out of the front lines, he had to remain silent, mainly because Virginia had never said anything about…_that_.

            Of course, this was another problem for the boy.  How the hell was he supposed to act around her?  Considering that she's being the same as she always is, should he also act like normal, too?  Sure, it's ridiculous to think that she wouldn't know whether or not she was what he was thinking she was, but he really had no way of knowing for sure.  But supposing that she didn't know, then what?  Should he act differently in that case?  Should he just play along, feigning ignorance?  Should he tell her?

_            Damn it, this is so confusing!_ He thought, trying hard no to bash his fists against the table in frustration.  Grabbing the nearby gravy boat, he drowned his turkey in anger and broth.  This earned him a few odd looks from his comrades, but no one said anything about it.  

            The meal resumed, and all remained relatively normal.  Food was passed, messes were made, and Gallows was laughed at.  Just like usual, only he was intentionally funny in this case.  And, for the first time in weeks, Jet's anxiety dissipated.  Which is certainly not going to last for long…

            "Cripes, Virginia!  You've eaten enough for two people!"  This outburst from the lovable oaf returned Jet to his previous state of mind.  _Enough for two?_  He promptly passed out in his potatoes.

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            "Ungh…" Jet sat up from the couch and clutched his head, unaware of how well that rhymed.  

            "Oh!  You're awake!" chimed Virginia.  "Oops…I missed a spot."  Reaching under his chin with a napkin, she removed the last bit of potato.  "There," she added with a smile.

            "Did I pass out again?"

            She looked surprised at that.  "Again?  Has this happened before?"

            _That's right, she wasn't there the first time…_ he thought.  "Yes, once."

            "When did it happen?" she cried, almost sounding like an overprotective mother.  Which obviously wasn't helping Jet's issues.

            "During the break we took…  You and your aunt went out shopping, and…"

            "That's when it happened, then?"

            "Yup."

            "Well, have you seen a doctor about it?  Do you know why it's happening?"

            _Argh__….it's now or never I guess..._ he mused.  Taking a deep breath, he answered.  "No…" and he muttered something inaudible.

            Virginia leaned in closer.  "What was that last part?  I didn't hear you."

            "I said I know why it's happening…"

            "Well…why is it?"

            He took a few more calming breaths, trying to keep his heart rate at a steady pace.  He stared into those cerulean eyes of hers and stated.  "I know that you're pregnant."

            "….."   She sat there blankly for a bit.  "Um…what?"

            Her puzzled look kinda shocked him.  "Uh…I know that you're…pregnant?"

            After what may have been the most awkward moment in all of human history, the flabbergasted girl finally spoke again.  "Um…no I'm not."

            Jet's  perception of reality shattered into a thousand pieces.  "W-w-w-wha?"

            "I'm not pregnant, Jet.  Why would you think that?"

            "Well, what were those pink booties?"

            "Did you go through my stuff?"  she yelled, hands on her hips.

            "That's not the question!  What the hell were those booties?!"

            She sighed before answering.  "Those were a gift for a friend of mine.  She just had a baby a few months ago, don't you remember?  I took you to her baby shower!" 

            _Oh yeah, that's right…_  "Okay…but what about the morning sickness?"

            "What, that pukefest the other day?"

            "Yeah, _that._"

            "I don't know if you remember or not, but both Clive _and _Gallows cooked the night before.  Just let that sink into your head for a minute."

            He did, and shuddered at the thought of what kinds of terrifying culinary experiments those two could whip up.   Digging into the last of his evidence bag, he blurted "Chocolate strawberries pickles an' ice cream!"

            She gave him a half lidded look.  "We had strawberry sundaes that night…and Aunt Shalte is lactose-intolerant.  And she really loves pickles….I never understood that…"

            "Oh…"

            "And besides, don't you remember what we did with the leftover strawberries?"

            They stared at each other for a second before blushing.

            "Heh…yeah…"

            Had Gallows been stereotypically eavesdropping, he would have wet himself with that info.  

            "Well, Enduro, anything else you wanna throw out on the table?"

            Sheepishly he muttered, "…no…."

            Virginia let out a sigh of relief, and sat down on the couch next to Jet.  "Well, that explains a lot.  I though you had been acting weird lately."

            "Um….Virginia?"

            "What is it?"

            He scratched the back of his head.  "Could we…uh…keep this between us?"

            She giggled at him and nodded.  "Sure, sure."

            "Thanks…"   Looking around, he noticed that there wasn't a clock in the room.  "Hey, what time is it?"

            "Eleven o' clock.  Everybody else has gone to bed already."

            "Oh…"  _Well, that explains why the living room is empty like this._  

            They sat there for a while.  When suddenly, Virginia giggled and whispered "Should I see if they have any strawberries?"

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**A/N:**  I had no intention of making the ending so kinky, but you know what?  I think it works.  With the latest announcements of this site, I think I'm gonna put the CRRS for this thing in my profile, so look there for my responses to your reviews.  Peace out, everybody, and enjoy my first finished non-oneshot. 


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